I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My brain says no but my pants say off.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
