Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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