Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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