Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
