he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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