This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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