i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
