You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
