When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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