yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
