If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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