he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
