I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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