I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
