i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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