Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
