oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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