The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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