Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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