im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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