nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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