I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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