who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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