So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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