Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
