Tell her she can't have a vagina
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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