my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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