Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
