and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
