TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize