I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize