Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
