By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
