god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
