i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
