I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
