Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
