Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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