I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
