why didn't you poke me back
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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