Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize