There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize