Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
