Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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