I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
