and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
