I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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