Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
