piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
