My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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