We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
