life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
