is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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