I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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