So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
