Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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