dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
