i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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