I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
