He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
sarcasm needs its own font
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
