does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
