so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize