i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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